Glee season premiere recap: Kurt and Blaine are [spoiler]! (2024)

It turns out that in Glee world, all you need is love — and an episode-ending proposal between Blaine and Kurt that was the most fabulous, over-the-top, musically inclined, perfect marriage question one could hope for. It’s going to have the side effect of making every 14-year-old instruct their significant other to watch and take notes — in between pausing to swoon just a bit. This is a very good thing indeed, because this episode — and this show — have a whole lot of sadness stacked against it.

Elephant in the choir room: Cory Monteith is dead, and there was not a single mention of Finn this hour. Instead, the show kicked off with Rachel at a chemistry test audition for Funny Girl on Broadway, where she had a great Barbra Streisand impression but didn’t seem to impress the director. Sensing her Broadway dream was (temporarily) dead, girl launched into a stellar, heartbreaking rendition of “Yesterday” that was impossible to not lend additional significance to, given all the extra baggage the show is now saddled with.

Rachel, needing a job, then joined Santana at the Spotlight Diner (Clearly an homage to Ellen’s Stardust Diner and their singing waitstaff). Everything was fine until the men who have seemingly declined to hire her for Funny Girl show up. It’s a small world! Rachel Berry turns her Rachel Berry-ness up to 12, tells them that she’s great, and then sings, “Hard Days Night” to prove it. She’d love to stick around, but after concluding her performance she grabs Santana and dashes — there’s a proposal in Lima in the works.

Back at McKinley — would you believe it? — Mr. Schuester announced it’s two weeks of the Beatles, which he thinks may be just the thing to get the club to win Nationals two years in a row. A Nationals win is more important than ever, because new principal Sue demands it. But in the revolving game of MASH that is the Glee club, the bigger news is that Kitty and Artie are now dating.

The two go to a carnival (leading into a literal “Drive My (bumper) Car”), and then new mean cheerleader Bree (not like the cheese) shows up and tells Kitty she posted some photos of Artie and Kitty together on Instagram. Bree has been onscreen 10 seconds and she’s already The Worst. Kitty tells Artie she really likes him, but she wants to keep their relationship secret. “What if we go out but we do it on the down low, you know like secretly gay conservatives do,” she asks. Seth and Summer already taught me that this is a bad idea, but Artie clearly doesn’t watch The OC reruns/obviously wants a girlfriend and agrees to go along with it. Bonus: This plot is a way to sneak in an also-literal “You’ve Got To Hide Your Life Away” duet.

NEXT: Kurt and Blaine decide on their future

In plot developments people actually care about, Blaine doesn’t immediately propose to Kurt, but the two are having a “farewell picnic” (Thing I Want In My Life) and before Blaine can launch into an elaborate musical tribute to Kurt asking to officially get back together, Kurt beats him to the punch chorus and belts out a wonderfully over-the-top rendition of “Got To Get You Into My Life” that Blaine naturally jumps in on because the color-coordinated gleefulness of it all is acting like catnip. One big kiss later and Klaine is back, you guys!

But not content to just be boyfriends, Blaine announces to the Glee club he wants to propose to Kurt, and he wants everyone — Vocal Adrenaline, The Warblers, Sam’s new gross hair — to be a part of it. Nothing says romance like hanging out with a graduate’s old high school rivals! I’m going to hand this over to Blaine to explain why all these people are necessary: “People everywhere, except for Russia, are beginning to see that people aren’t all that different….If we’re able to get a bunch of cutthroat show choirs to stand side by side and unite in something, then anything is possible.” Put it on a banner and march on Washington!

Confession: I was snarking through this whole scene/plotline, but the final moments of the episode — when Kurt and his father have a heart-to-heart about not wasting a moment and spending every second with the one you love, followed up by Blaine’s completely over-the-top (phrase of the episode!) but super sweet proposal — I don’t know, for a second I wanted to maybe start a Klaine fansite or something.

Note to individuals who may be popping the question this year: This is what Blaine said to Kurt in the halls of Dalton Academy (after first belting out “All You Need Is Love,” surrounded by pretty much the entire cast of anyone who has ever appeared on this show): “My soul knew something that my body and my mind didn’t know. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other fearlessly and forever. Which is why it’s never really felt like I was getting to know you, it’s always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if in every lifetime you and I have ever lived we’ve chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over again for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I’ve found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I’ve ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. So, Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, Will you marry me?”

Talk about a Teenage Dream. Kurt said yes because he’s not a stone cold monster, which led to the second big kiss of the night. Overall, this hour was all about love, and it was nice to see the Beatles’ main message represented so well. Kurt and Blaine getting back together was a smart move not just for fans, but for the show. This program is going to face some dark days going forward, and it’ll be nice to have a relationship bright spot to cheer for.

NEXT: Musical grades

Musical Grades:

Let’s talk about all that Beatles music. Fun fact: Today is actually the 44th anniversary of the release of Abbey Road. The more you know! As the first hour of the planned two-part Beatles tribute, the show focused on the early years of the Beatles and the high energy throughout kept most of the musical moments as the fun tributes they were obviously intended as.

“All You Need Is Love”: I feel like America would forgive a lot more cheaters if this were the end result. I didn’t really realize it before, but of course the band all about love should be a major factor in a Kurt/Blaine proposal. The bright colors and high energy only made this cover of one of the Beatles’ most iconic songs even better. A

“Drive My Car”: Sung by Kitty and Artie, this was cute and fun, and it’s not like the original had layers of deep messaging, but something about the literal take — with bumper cars at the fair — made me feel like it missed the mark. B-

“Got To Get You Into My Life”: Sung by Blaine and Kurt, what a cheerful, fun ode to remind us of Glee at its best. The outfits! The band! The love! The energy was top-notch and I automatically give high scores to any number ending in a kiss. A-

“Hard Days Night”: Rachel regularly hits her numbers out of the park, but compared with other high-energy performances from this episode, this one didn’t blow me away. Dancing around a restaurant alongside Santana could have been powerful fun, but instead it felt like a tossaway to make room for more impressive numbers later. B

“Help”: This performance reminded me of “Shout” from last year. Led by Blaine, the scene was him literally running around asking for help from various other vocal groups for his proposal to his boyfriend. It was similar fun to the goofiness of the Beatles’ first movies (like, say, Help!), so on the homage level, it worked. A-

“I Saw Her Standing There”: It’s impossible to not like this number as it’s one of the most clear homages to a specific Beatles performance of the entire hour. Ryder, Sam, Jake and Blaine tackled the Fab Four’s iconic Ed Sullivan Show appearance (loved the black-and-white on the television and the screaming girls!), and along the way try to give Tina some self-esteem (more difficult than acquiring tickets to Shea Stadium). A

“Yesterday”: There’s not a ballad Rachel hasn’t slayed, and this was no exception. A

“You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away”: I loved all the attention Artie got this hour, but I wasn’t wild about this rendition. It didn’t hit the emotional notes that the original did. B-

What did you think of the premiere? Are you excited about Kurt and Blaine? Still hoping for a Broadway miracle for Rachel? What about new, now totally official couple Kitty and Artie? Did the show feel like itself, or was there a Finn-shaped cloud hanging over each Beatles song?

Erin on Twitter